vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
