Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Less talking, more tequila
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
