I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
