There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize