Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
