All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
