I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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