So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
