Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
