dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
