Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i barfeds in our rink
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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