youre lurking in front of me
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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