Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
handjob tips. give me some.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
