I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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