I must be too annoying 4 u.
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
