yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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