Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
