All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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