i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
