My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize