Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
