at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
