Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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