One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
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