Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
