I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
