I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
