I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
