All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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