Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
