Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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