Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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