did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
