the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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