lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
