home. puking in laundry basket.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
