I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
