I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize
