Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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