we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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