do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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