so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize
