mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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