The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
