I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
