Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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