from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
