i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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