I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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