...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize