Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
