You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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