do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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