She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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