I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize