I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
