I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I think my fart just growled at me.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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