Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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