so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize