You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
