I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
foreskin is a definite game changer
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
